"Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?"

Yesterday evening, I was sitting at my table working on my ‘People’ Crossword Puzzle book (thanks Mom!) when I heard some kind of scratching noise coming from my back door.  There are always chickens and goats wandering by, so I though nothing of it.  (I have screen doors in the front and back and can identify a lot of nature sounds.)  But the noise was constant and did not pass.  I got up to take a look, and as soon as I took two steps towards my kitchen, a mean-looking snake hissed and struck out at me.  I’ve never felt such a pure surge of adrenaline as I did in that moment.  The snake had made its way through my kitchen and was coming into my sitting room.  I grabbed the lid to my trash bucket and my flyswatter to use a shield and sword.  (Picture that!)  I started yelling obscenities at it, “GET OUT!  DAMMIT!  GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!  SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!  (Part of me was hoping that a passerby would hear me and come to assist.  But it didn't happen.)  I had to figure out a way to push the snake back out my kitchen door, but every time I moved towards it, it tried to strike me again.  The thought went through my head that this snake is the one that's going to bite me.  Aaagh!  After my experience with the green mamba last year, I remembered to back away and the snake did the same.  It slithered around the edges of my kitchen, hiding behind tables and jerricans.  At this point I panicked.  It was 6:30pm and getting dark . . . and the power was out . . . and a thunderstorm was quickly moving up over the hill.  I did not want chase a snake through my house in the dark with flashes of lightning around me!  No matter what, I needed to get rid of the snake in the next 5 minutes.  It was hiding in the corner behind my gas tank and the thought occurred to me ‘I’m going to want a picture of it to show everyone.’  Even though my entire body was trembling from the adrenaline, I managed to move the gas tank and take a picture.

(And yes, that is giant freakin’ spider next to the snake.  It was also hiding behind the gas tank.)

The snake wasn’t moving from that corner and I decided I was going to have to antagonize it to get it moving.  I grabbed my broom (the only 'weapon' I had that kept me at a safe distance) and started sweeping the snake across my kitchen and managed to get it out my back door.  Finally, the ordeal was over.

My other snake encounters didn’t bother me very much, but this one was particularly terrifying (this is snake #4, if you’re counting).  It was very aggressive and looked like something in the viper family.  I was pretty shaken up and emotional for the next hour and thought of calling Mom & Dad to tell them I wanted to come home.  But I decided it wasn't a good idea to wake them up with that phone call first thing on a Monday morning.  I took some deep breaths, grabbed my Kindle, and curled up on the couch (not wanting my feet to touch the ground).  By the time I went to bed, the fear had subsided and I felt better.  (Actually managed a good night's sleep too!)